IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every country should have a free health service even if this means the latest medical treatment may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#country #health #service #treatment
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Health
Use synonyms
service
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 is one of the most important
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
 in a
country
Use synonyms
. While a paid
health
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service
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, even though expensive, ensures the
lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
 medical
treatment
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, free
health
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service
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 should be available to the citizen of the
country
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.
This
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 essay with
argue
Change the verb form
argues
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 why a free
health
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service
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 is beneficial despite its limitation. The latest medical treatments come at a price. The research that undergoes for developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
treatment
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 technologies requires funding from the government.
For instance
Linking Words
, the vaccine development for treating the Covid virus required
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 amount of donation from different sectors.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is justified that the medical
treatment
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 should be availed by bearing its expenses.
However
Linking Words
, the extreme expense that needs to be undertaken means that a major section of the population
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not capable
to
Change preposition
of
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 avail
such
Linking Words
 treatments. Free
health
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service
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 is a boon to the
people
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 of a
country
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. Because the
health
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 sector is becoming increasingly expensive recently, unpaid
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 will ensure that everyone can receive necessary treatments.
Although
Linking Words
 concern has been put forward by analysts that free medical
service
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 can lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
treatment
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 facilities,
such
Linking Words
 a concern is unfounded since the primary concern of a medical field should be the extent to which
people
Use synonyms
 can avail
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
service
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
Covid
Correct article usage
the Covid
show examples
 vaccine was made free by the government, the
people
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 could readily take the vaccine.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
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consolidates
Change the verb form
consolidate
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 the fact that ensuring a free
health
Use synonyms
service
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 will benefit the
people
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 to a greater extent.
This
Linking Words
 essay has argued that a free
health
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service
Use synonyms
 has an overall advantage. The only way to make medical
service
Use synonyms
 available to the citizens is to render it free of cost and
hence
Linking Words
, to ensure
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of its citizen, a
country
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 should apply the policy of free
health
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 care. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unpaid
health
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 care ensures
better
Add an article
the better
show examples
 overall
health
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 of the citizens, I completely agree that
such
Linking Words
service
Use synonyms
 ought to be made available.
Submitted by biswasnirmalya161 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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