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Band 4

Every country should have a free health service even if this means the latest medical treatment may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#country #health #service #treatment
Health
service
 is one of the most important
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
 in a
country
. While a paid
health
service
, even though expensive, ensures the
lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
 medical
treatment
, free
health
service
 should be available to the citizen of the
country
.
This
 essay with
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 why a free
health
service
 is beneficial despite its limitation. The latest medical treatments come at a price. The research that undergoes for developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
treatment
 technologies requires funding from the government.
For instance
, the vaccine development for treating the Covid virus required
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 amount of donation from different sectors.
Hence
, it is justified that the medical
treatment
 should be availed by bearing its expenses.
However
, the extreme expense that needs to be undertaken means that a major section of the population
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 avail
such
 treatments. Free
health
service
 is a boon to the
people
 of a
country
. Because the
health
 sector is becoming increasingly expensive recently, unpaid
health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 will ensure that everyone can receive necessary treatments.
Although
 concern has been put forward by analysts that free medical
service
 can lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
treatment
 facilities,
such
 a concern is unfounded since the primary concern of a medical field should be the extent to which
people
 can avail
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
service
.
For instance
, when
Covid
Correct article usage
the Covid
show examples
 vaccine was made free by the government, the
people
 could readily take the vaccine.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
consolidates
Change the verb form
consolidate
show examples
 the fact that ensuring a free
health
service
 will benefit the
people
 to a greater extent.
This
 essay has argued that a free
health
service
 has an overall advantage. The only way to make medical
service
 available to the citizens is to render it free of cost and
hence
, to ensure
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
health
 of its citizen, a
country
 should apply the policy of free
health
 care. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unpaid
health
 care ensures
better
Add an article
the better
show examples
 overall
health
 of the citizens, I completely agree that
such
service
 ought to be made available.
Submitted by biswasnirmalya161 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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