IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #lives #change
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Change
Use synonyms
 : The word defines to modify and to tend
Use synonyms
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 with current situation and circumstances. Every individual has to implement few changes in their
life
Use synonyms
 either personally or professionally. A small
change
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 can help to define
life
Use synonyms
 goals which
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to
achieve
Change the verb form
achieving
show examples
specific
Add an article
the specific
a specific
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milestone
Fix the agreement mistake
milestones
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. It is more important to
change
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 with the situation
that is
Linking Words
 in demand rather than to be an
ordinay
Correct your spelling
ordinary
 individual. Some people think that a
change
Use synonyms
 in their behaviour or activity will
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 them
degrade
Add the particle
to degrade
show examples
 themselves and have fear of loss and disrespect. While others, consider it as an opportunity to join the new community and to learn new things. They think that it will help them to sustain in society as they can adopt changes easily. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, Learning new things and
to adopt
Change the verb form
adopting
show examples
 changes is a part of
life
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 and one has to be focussed on upgrading own skills and knowledge with market demand. We will only survive
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if we will upgrade
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ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 with recent trends. I can give you an example of two individuals who are working in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same company, at the same designation and their mindset. Suraj is working as an assistant in ABC, who always think to
work
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 by his own ethics and decisions. Whereas, Urvashi is having a different mindset to
work
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. She used to
work
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 in a planned and systematic way which are provided by their superiors. In recent times, due to implementation of new technology in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
; every
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
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 are required to attain some sort of
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and to upgrade their skills in available fields. Here, Suraj thinks that if he will learn new things
then
Linking Words
 he will have to move out of his comfort zone and will have to
work
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 more time due to which he
did't
Correct your spelling
didn't
 appear for any training or skill sessions. Whereas, Urvashi has appeared for all possible
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and learning sessions to upgrade herself so that she can deal with all possible situations. As time flows, Suraj will have to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 his job due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of knowledge and skills which were demanded by a company.
Hence
Linking Words
, to conclude on the topic of
Change
Use synonyms
; It is more important to update
Use synonyms
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 with market demand rather than being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ordinary person whose values will get defamed in upcoming opportunities.
Submitted by suraj89rhtdm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: