Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

It is commonly argued that volunteer community service is supposed to be an important part of high school curriculums. I entirely agree with

this

point of view, as I believe that it can increase the chances of applying for jobs and improve

students

’ soft

skills

First

of all, nowadays many organisations look for

charity

experiences which

students

have done apart from studying. The experiences can increase opportunities in applying for jobs or universities.

This

is because it can represent

students

’ behaviours.

For instance

, a qualification that the organisations required,

students

must have done any extracurricular life

such

as volunteer action, because it can

relates

Change the verb form

relate

show examples

to their careers. These experiences enable them to better understand people’s lives in society.

Although

it is not necessary for every organisation, it can upgrade

pupil'

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils'

show examples

profiles.

Furthermore

, working for a

charity

can develop soft

skills

, due to the fact that

students

get hard

skills

from studying in classes but doing volunteer work allows them to acquire many soft

skills

For instance

, before improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children,

undergraduate

Fix the agreement mistake

undergraduates

show examples

have to make a plan or discuss it with people in a rural area. So in these ,

activities

Add a comma

,activities

show examples

they can get decision making, communication and critical thinking

skills

. If there are no

charity

activities, they might have no chance to get

these dexterity

Change the determiner

this dexterity

show examples

. All in all,

students

acquire several advantages from

charity

work

such

as increasing their chances of applying for jobs and developing their soft

skills

. In my opinion, unpaid community service is essential and should be added to the schools’ programs.

Submitted by p.n.fongnam on Thu Aug 12 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unpaid community service
compulsory part
high school programs
sense of duty
social responsibility
essential life skills
teamwork
communication
leadership
work experience
employable
community improvement
local community
time management
empathy
compassionate attitude
diversion from academics
critics argue
varying quality
inconsistency
students’ experiences

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries the number of animals and plants is declining. why do you think this is happening? how can this issue be solved?

In many countries it is now illegal to adverstise. Do you agree or disagree ?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

Nowadays education quality is very low. Some people think we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticise their teachers. Others believe that it will result in a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss on both sides.