Using of cosmetics surgery increases this time to improve appearance. Why are the reasons. Is it negative or positive effect.

#cosmetics #surgery #increases #time #appearance #effect

In recent times, the number of

people

that

usdergone

Correct your spelling

undergone

aesthetics

surgery

increases.

This

is major because human beings having an inferiority complex about themselves and peers pressure influences.

However

this

has a negative effect later in life.

To begin

with,the major reason why

people

have undergone

surgery

for cosmetics purposes is because of peers pressure and lack of confidence about their physical appearances .

This

is due to the fact that maybe their friend or sisters as done the same . Many studies about the effect of aesthetics have shown that

people

are greatly influenced by their friends before going for

surgery

However

, another reason is due to

people

having low self-esteem about their body ,and as a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

result

Add an article

a result

the result

show examples

they went for

surgery

in order to improve their self-esteem.

However

, undergoing aesthetic

surgery

has a negative effect on body systems.

This

is because most

people

went to an unprofessional surgeon to perform the procedure.

Therefore

this

might result in infectious diseases due to the procedures when adequate care is not given, which might lead to death . In conclusion, peer pressure is the major reason why

people

have undergone cosmetics

surgery

, and

this

always has a negative on the body systems and physical looks.

Submitted by temitope.sabitu on Thu Aug 12 2021

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

204 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Using of cosmetics surgery increases this time to improve appearance. Why are the reasons. Is it negative or positive effect.

Fully explain your ideas

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