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Band 6.5

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Instead, they should receive education and job training. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education #job
It is a common belief that
criminals
 need to obtain
education
 and
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 training system
instead
 of taking them to prison. Even though
education
 and job training have many advantages, I firmly believe that prisoners should be locked down.
To begin
 with, there are a lot of illegal activities due to a lack of proper
education
.
That is
 the main reason why
people
 suppose following the
education
 system is better.
However
, many
people
 who have good training still do commit crimes, even their wrong behaviours are more delicate because it is difficult to accept that if
people
 are formally coached they will not be prisoners.
Education
 is not enough to limit and prohibit
criminals
. On top of that, creating prisons to keep prisoners with the main purpose is to prevent highly hazardous. It is understandable that the prison is an image of fairness and protects the lives of other innocent citizens.
For instance
, some
criminals
 have psychological illnesses, they can’t control their behaviours, they kill other
people
 but the ones are not scared and do not feel guilty. Those cases should be quarantined from the community to avoid danger to others. To sum up, keeping
people
 who commit crimes in a limited space is to protect society and prohibit
people
 from doing incorrect behaviours.
Although
 the following
education
 system has benefits, I support the idea that taking
criminals
 to prison is more effective.
Submitted by liem12t on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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