IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Instead, they should receive education and job training. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education #job
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It is a common belief that
criminals
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 need to obtain
education
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 and
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 training system
instead
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 of taking them to prison. Even though
education
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 and job training have many advantages, I firmly believe that prisoners should be locked down.
To begin
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 with, there are a lot of illegal activities due to a lack of proper
education
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.
That is
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 the main reason why
people
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 suppose following the
education
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 system is better.
However
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, many
people
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 who have good training still do commit crimes, even their wrong behaviours are more delicate because it is difficult to accept that if
people
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 are formally coached they will not be prisoners.
Education
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 is not enough to limit and prohibit
criminals
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. On top of that, creating prisons to keep prisoners with the main purpose is to prevent highly hazardous. It is understandable that the prison is an image of fairness and protects the lives of other innocent citizens.
For instance
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, some
criminals
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 have psychological illnesses, they can’t control their behaviours, they kill other
people
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 but the ones are not scared and do not feel guilty. Those cases should be quarantined from the community to avoid danger to others. To sum up, keeping
people
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 who commit crimes in a limited space is to protect society and prohibit
people
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 from doing incorrect behaviours.
Although
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 the following
education
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 system has benefits, I support the idea that taking
criminals
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 to prison is more effective.
Submitted by liem12t on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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