Some people believe charity organization should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both opinions and tell which side do you agree?

#people #charity #organization #offer #countries #organizations #aid #side

Due to providing support for the

people

in need around the world,

organizations

have been modified to handle the situation in different countries. There has been a controversy about whether these

organizations

should

priority

Replace the word

prioritize

show examples

their own citizens or individuals in more necessity for receiving help not necessary from their own country. Both views will be discussed in

this

essay. Not to mention that I believe these

organizations

should put the

people

in more critical situations

first

without concerning their nationality. Charity

organizations

around the world get their financial support for their effort from either the government or their own

people

through taxes or volunteer payments.

Therefore

since

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these financial supports

eventualy

Correct your spelling

eventually

could be considered the right of their own citizens. It has become a common belief that these charities should

first

address the problem of their own

people

For instance

, when a country like Iran has a restricted budget to tackle the critical situations that might encounter, like natural disasters

such

flood

Fix the agreement mistake

floods

show examples

and

earthquake

Fix the agreement mistake

earthquakes

show examples

, it would sound more reasonable to designate the charity amount for its own

people

Submitted by mina.arissian on Fri Aug 13 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

179 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe charity organization should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both opinions and tell which side do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.