Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that the public is becoming keen to promote a happier community nowadays. I disagree with the idea that reducing the gap between the rich and poor is the best way to do so

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because I believe other ways are equally effective. On the one hand, I agree that narrowing the rich-poor gap is beneficial to a happier civilization.

To begin

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with, reducing the disparity among different social classes can help to mitigate discrimination in society. When the level of wealth for everybody has minor differences, folk in all lines of work will experience a more acceptable and welcoming company.

Next,

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this

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also

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a good way to make fewer disputes and crimes

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our civilization as the differentiation between the wealthy and impoverished is responsible for many crimes.

On the other hand

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, I believe other approaches can

also

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produce a more enjoyable life for us.

Firstly

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, it is vitally important to ensure

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the

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law of justice for every member of the public, meaning that people would be fairly treated, and the nation

will

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would

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have a sense of safety.

Secondly

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, people’s level of happiness will certainly be increased if corruption is eliminated. Public service workers do their jobs that satisfy the public’s interests as we are taxpayers.

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, the government can

also

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allocate more

nation

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national

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budgets to the public education system, aiming to provide free education. Granting anybody a chance to approach knowledge can reduce unemployment, promoting a more productive and prosperous nation. In conclusion,

while

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reducing the gap between the rich and poor can promote a happier life for everyone, I do believe it outweighs all other approaches.

Submitted by 1339232976 on Fri Aug 13 2021

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion on the given topic. Try to provide detailed examples to support your ideas and make sure to connect your ideas logically throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a brief introduction that presents your opinion and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Additionally, work on connecting your ideas more cohesively throughout the essay.

task response

Your essay provides arguments both in support of and against the idea of reducing the gap between the rich and the poor.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvatages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.