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Band 6.5

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
It is true that some young
people
 prefer to persuade academic study at the university than follow a vocational training course. In my opinion, I totally agree that more
people
 should follow vocational training
courses
 because there is a lack of skilled labour. There are some reasons why qualified workers are vital over the world.
Firstly
, they are necessary when
people
 construct new buildings, renovate or simply maintain existing buildings. In many countries, a permanent staff is employed in schools and hospitals, ensuring the safety of all
people
 in a building.
Secondly
, in some developed countries, there is an existing imbalance in the economy, resulting in graduate unemployment, while at the same time there is a shortage of skilled workers.
Thus
, governments should work with employers to ensure that extra vocational
courses
 are provided and allocate more resources to open new
courses
.
Therefore
, more
people
 should be encouraged to attend vocational training
courses
. The most important thing is that schools should incorporate relevant subjects into their curriculum, which do not place all
emphasize
Replace the word
emphasis
show examples
 on preparation for academic studies at university.
For example
, workshops should put the physics theory into practice. And, students who are not academically inclined should not be considered as a failure. Another thing is that parents should help their children to choose
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
, explaining the job prospects and the remuneration for manual jobs with qualifications and skills. In conclusion,
although
 I agree that it is vital for students to study in the university, without
such
 labour workers, society can not function properly.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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