IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #products #people #impact
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There is currently a controversial argument that large
companies
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 take advantage of
sports
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events
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 to promotes their
products
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, and using
sports
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events
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 has a negative effect on
sports
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. I totally agree with
this
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 opinion because some
products
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 the
companies
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 promote are harmful, and
athletes
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 are exploited to promote
products
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 of their sponsor
companies
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. The main reason why I believe is that some
companies
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 which make use of
sports
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events
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 deal with unhealthy
products
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such
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 as cigarettes and alcohol. These
companies
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’ logo is used everywhere at
sports
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events
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,
for example
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, it can be seen on athlete’s T-shirts, the name of stadiums and signboards in the stadiums. To see these
companies
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’
logo
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logos
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 every
time
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 causes a problem that audiences urge to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthy
products
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, and that may lead to serious addiction or heavy diseases. Another reason why I support the notion is due to the
facts
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fact
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 that a lot of popular
athletes
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 appear
on
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in
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 their sponsor’s commercials, and the
companies
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 earn huge income. For the
athletes
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, appearing on media leads to decrease amounts of
time
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 for
practicing
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practising
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, so they might cut sleeping hours to secure the
time
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 for
practicing
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practising
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. It is obvious that lacking
time
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 has a negative effect on the health of
athletes
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 physically and mentally. In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that making use of
sports
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 game by the large
companies
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 have a negative impact on
sports
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.
This
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 is because some of the
products
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 company promote is harmful and the audiences of
sports
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 game might be affected to buy these.
Also
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, there are some risks that the
athletes
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 are squeezed to promote the sponsor’s
products
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. To enjoy
sports
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events
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, large
companies
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 have to refrain from using
sports
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events
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 for their marketing.
Submitted by tut.psla.5ri on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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