IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extend do you agree ?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Prisoners
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 have always had a bad reputation
by
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in
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society
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. They are deemed to be failures and should be punished for their mistakes by being locked up in cells and
seperated
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separated
 from
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community
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the community
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. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion as I view that doing unpaid
community
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work
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 has more advantages for the
prisoners
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 and the
prison
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 system than punishment.
Firstly
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, the
work
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 that the
prisoners
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 do will help them to rehabilitate into
the
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apply
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society
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. Convicts that are locked up are prone to become isolated and disassociated from the rest of the world.
This
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 causes them to be used to
the
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apply
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prison
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 life and will struggle to fit back into normal everyday life once their sentence is over. More worryingly, these
prisoners
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 would
then
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 commit
further
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 crimes
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, as a result,
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as a result
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 to get back into
prison
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, unpaid
work
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 would bring them closer to the
community
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. Once released, they will already be adapted to the social norms of the surrounding
society
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 and will rejoin the
community
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 to start over a new life.
In addition
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, unpaid
work
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 fixes the bad reputation that these
prisoners
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 have. The stigma faced by the
prisoners
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 could be
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overcome
overcomed
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overcome
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 when people see them contributing back to
the
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apply
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society
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. The idea that
prisoners
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 get to live their whole duration of
sentence
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a sentence
the sentence
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 with shelter and food paid for while locked up and not doing any
work
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 does not sit well in the minds of others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
society
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 sees that the
prison
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 system benefits the
society
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, it helps prisons with funding for more rehabilitation programmes so that they do not have to face the lack of funding and overcrowding issues they do now.
As
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In
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conclusion
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a conclusion
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, I
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wholeheartedly
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whole heartedly
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wholeheartedly
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 believe that
prisoners
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 should be doing unpaid
community
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work
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instead
Linking Words
 of being locked up in their cells. I hope to see governments changing their
prison
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 systems for the benefit of both the
prisoners
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 and
society
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 as a whole.
Submitted by poryamo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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