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Band 2.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening,and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of criminals are prone to recidivism after being released from jail.
Moreover
, It is increasingly becoming prevalent over the
last
 decades. There are various reasons and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 tendency. Some of the prominent causes will be highlighted in
this
 paper along with alternative solutions which may be
implemeted
Correct your spelling
implemented
 to alleviate
this
 problem. In my view, one of the principal reasons that offenders tend to recommit crime is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of profitable skills. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the previous
crime
Replace the word
criminal
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 record is an immense barrier
on
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to
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 their recruitment process. So that, Employers usually avoid providing them positions.
As a result
, they expose to a lack of rehabilitation and struggle to
reintegratie
Correct your spelling
reintegrate
reintegration
 into society.
Thus
 these challenging circumstances propel them reoffending once again. There are some possible solutions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 may be carried out to diminish
this
 frustrating trade.
Firstly
, offenders should be trained for some skills in order to be able to sustain their lifestyle.
Besides
, not only governments but
also
 communities should create a peaceful surrounding for them. By providing emotional support, as well as gainful employment, will probably have a huge impact on reducing
this
 issue. To sum up, lack of gainful employment, as well as emotional support
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 leads to committing more
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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. By providing profitable activities and
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
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 environment may assist to solve
this
 problem
Submitted by Parvina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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