IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think the benefits of living and working in a foreign country are more than drawbacks?

Do you consider the advantages of spending time
to live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 abroad are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
? From
this
Linking Words
 question, I think it has positive
aspects
Use synonyms
 more
than
Correct word choice
positive than
show examples
 negative
aspects
Use synonyms
. because you can earn more
experience
Use synonyms
 from living and working, and you can not only make a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend
money
Use synonyms
 on something that you
desired
Wrong verb form
desire
show examples
. The primary reason why I think it has more benefits than drawbacks is
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
 are able to earn more
experience
Use synonyms
. Existence and working in other countries
make
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 you
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
extra
experience
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my sister
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 lived in
England
Punctuation problem
England,
show examples
 worked with foreigners from several countries. She told me she learned about different cultures in the workplace.
Moreover
Linking Words
, living in
this
Linking Words
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 she was taught by her neighbours about various languages spoken
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 she never learned in her hometown, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when she came back to Thailand, she
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a large amount of
experience
Use synonyms
. Another reason is
money
Use synonyms
.
when
Fix capitalization
When
show examples
 you are employed and staying abroad, you can not only make a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend
money
Use synonyms
 on items that you need when you live in other countries. Based on a local university’s research, most people who work for a company overseas have a better salary than people who work in Thailand.
In addition
Linking Words
,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 can afford some objects that they really want by themselves when they live there . In conclusion, I think the positive
aspects
Use synonyms
 of living and having a job overseas are more than
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
aspects
Use synonyms
 because you can get more
experience
Use synonyms
 from them, and you can not only
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 more profit but
also
Linking Words
 can spend
money
Use synonyms
 on things that you
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay. Make a clear start, two main points, then a short end.
content
Show your view in the start and end. Note the other side a little.
coherence
Use small linking words to join ideas, like first, also, but, then, finally.
grammar
Check grammar. Use 'living and working abroad' instead of wrong phrases.
content
Give more clear examples that show your point, even simple facts help.
idea
Clear view that living and working abroad has more good points.
example
Some good real life example about a sister in England.
structure
Good use of signal words like 'Another reason' and 'In conclusion'.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality education
  • high standard of living
  • diverse cultures
  • strong healthcare system
  • career advancement
  • safe and stable environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: