IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that government should make laws regarding people's nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others Contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #laws #nutrition #food #choices #health #freedom #choice #responsibility
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue of whether
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must formulate policies with regards to what people eat in relation to nutritive value in order to promote public
health
Use synonyms
 , or give
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
subjects power to choose and be responsible for what they eat is a debatable subject. It is the mandate of the
government
Use synonyms
 to ensure that the
health
Use synonyms
 of people in the country is up to standard.
This
Linking Words
 can be achieved by enacting rules and regulations on the production and supply of food
that is
Linking Words
 nutritious.
For instance
Linking Words
,it can
bann
Correct your spelling
ban
 companies from producing, importing and supplying genetically modified food products which pose a grave danger to peoples healthy once consumed as it can lead to conditions
such
Linking Words
 as various forms of cancers. On the other,it is not possible for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
 to monitor the eating
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 of the public despite measures put in place.
This
Linking Words
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 becomes the responsibility of the individuals to see to it that their nutritional status is taken care of. And can be done by eating a balanced diet, rich in vegetables, fruits and other nutrients to boost the immune system and
consenquently
Correct your spelling
consequently
 help the body fight off infections and diseases. It is my belief that healthy living is a personal choice
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be maintained only if one decides to do so regardless of
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 education provided and
government
Use synonyms
 policies. To sum up,
government
Use synonyms
 and individual citizens must work together if the public
health
Use synonyms
 status is to be uplifted.
Submitted by Sarah Mbasela on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: