IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Topic 21: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#topic #children #countryside #city
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Some people think
children
Use synonyms
 should grow up in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 because
children
Use synonyms
 can enjoy a memorable childhood in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 that
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 cannot provide.
However
Linking Words
, I prefer to choose
children
Use synonyms
 should grow up in a big
city
Use synonyms
. A big
city
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 will take
children
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 too many important things , rather than
children
Use synonyms
 just have fun in the
countryside
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all , I think the best important point is education. As well known, if a child
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to get a good
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 resource,it is very important to take education in a big
city
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. Big cities always have
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 teachers , various famous schools for
children
Use synonyms
 to choose
and
Change preposition
from and
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 study
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 may not only haven't enough
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospitals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 there's
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of doctors are lower than
Use synonyms
city's
Change the noun form
cities
city
show examples
. Obviously , many
children
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 get sickness always be taken to
city
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's hospital due to country's
hosptial
Correct your spelling
hospital
 can't handle it. In fact , some people will disagree with my opinion because they think
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 serious commission is having a good time in their childhood rather than study hard. To be honesty, modern family's
children
Use synonyms
 always follow high
competitive
Replace the word
competition
show examples
 after they
borned
Correct your spelling
burned
. If you never impose
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 some pressure,your child may become the only
one
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
loser in a remarkable group of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lots of
children
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
children
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 who grow up in the
city
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 will definitely be accompanied by a lot of drawbacks.
However
Linking Words
 , they can gain
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 important resource that
countryside
Use synonyms
 don't have. If you want to you
children
Use synonyms
 can get more opportunity to become a successful person,
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 is the Irreplaceable choice.
Submitted by fox04157 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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