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Band 5

Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

#people #today’s #life #history #source #information
In
this
 present world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is one of the most important
tool
Change to a plural noun
tools
show examples
 which countries have to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their economy. In terms of education,
History
 has been a significant subject. It is present in all countries around the world. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the
study
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 is very important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because give to the students a better
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things
. Studying from the past offers many benefits,
such
 as the understanding of where the
things
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from, as well as knowledge about what other
people
 had
tryed
Correct your spelling
tried
 before.
First
, through the
study
 of
history
Add a comma
,history
show examples
 we can understand how
things
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
.
For example
, if we investigate the past from computers, we can understand how
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 works, and
then
 try to improve it.
In contrast
, if we don't know its past, will be more difficult
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
show examples
 it and even change it.
Therefore
,
study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 is good and offer benefits to today.
Second
, we can know what other
people
 had
tryed
Correct your spelling
tried
 before, so we can save time doing
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
things
 and not just repeating
things
 that had already
done
Add a missing verb
been done
show examples
.
For instance
, if the
first
 person who built a car, had not studied the past, there would be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 much time discovering the wheel. But, as he already
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
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, he didn't spend time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 matter and focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the rest of the parts.
Thus
, there is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
ammount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of knowledge in the
history
 that must be taken
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 care
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
 To summarise, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 and for the reasons that I explained before, the
study
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 just can bring benefits for
people
. We can understand where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from and we can look
what
Change preposition
at what
show examples
 other
people
 had
tryed
Correct your spelling
tried
 before.
The
Correct article usage
History
show examples
history
 must be the start's point
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 new knowledge.
Submitted by ja.rios903 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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