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Band 3

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purposes of museums are to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purposes
Some people support the opinion that museums should be
places
 to
Correct your spelling
enjoyable
enyoyable
Add a missing verb
be enyoyable
show examples
. While others think that it suppose to be an
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
. In the following paragraphs, both of these
viewpionts
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
 will be examined in detail. On the one hand, the museums had several categories in general, which is cloud be an entertainment
sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
source
show examples
.
In addition
,
these institution
Change the determiner
this institution
these institutions
show examples
also
 gain more
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in spects
Correct your spelling
inspects
show examples
 of interested more than academics.
For example
, some individuals are
connot
Correct your spelling
can not
 understand about historical in
hall
Add an article
the hall
show examples
.
Therefore
 to be clear to understand the meaning as works shown in
those exhibition
Change the determiner
that exhibition
those exhibitions
show examples
,
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 would illustrate in form of
vedio's
Correct your spelling
video's
videos
 display, audio,
flim
Correct your spelling
film
 and
also
 humans' performance are included as recently.
As a result
, coming to visit an exhibition is more fun, interesting and easy to
unterstood
Correct your spelling
understood
understand
 by typical ages. On the others hand, some people still supported that
meseum
Correct your spelling
museum
, which is a
places
Change the noun form
place
show examples
 to learn in academic knowledge.
For instance
, most of ancients
places
 have to
Add a missing verb
be visited
show examples
visited
Change the verb
visit
show examples
 with the properly
colthes
Correct your spelling
clothes
 and respect the place, so fun
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
are not allow
Change the verb form
are not allowed
are not allowing
show examples
 there. Because there are various
stuffs'
Change the wording
stuff'
kinds of stuff'
pieces of stuff'
show examples
 ancient including tools, fossil, even the pictures in the past.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
, education while
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
 in the academic
meseums
Correct your spelling
museums
museum
 should disregard it. To summarise, it can be
emphazised
Correct your spelling
emphasised
 that museums can be
places
 to entertain people with
severral
Correct your spelling
several
 form to
persent
Correct your spelling
present
 their performance, despite some
places
 are important as education
resorces
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Submitted by suthatta_noon on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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