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Band 5.5

Today foods travel thousands of miles from the farm to the consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#foods #travel #thousands #miles #farm #consumers #trend
Nowadays. the production processes are widely spread among hundreds of countries In
this
 essay, I will examine the reasons for
such
 a peculiar method and explain why I consider that
this
 is a positive trend towards great outlooks. Each country has its unique technologies and techniques that benefit them a lot
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in businesses. Indeed, almost every nation has a field where they have achieved much more progress rather than all other countries combined. In Russia,
for example
, the farming aspect prevails. The wide farmers' community improved technics for gathering crops and now they utilize them with a greater outcome that, in turn, yields lower prices for the final consumers.
Thus
, even though there are additional costs for transporting
this
 harvest, still it brings much more profit not only for buyers but
also
 for companies.
That is
 the main factor of
such
 a tendency. I believe that
this
 tendency has only a positive impact on a whole society. By specialising only in one particular market area,
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 can develop innovations and find out about the most effective ways of production. Take,
for example
, Canadian people who came up with more efficient factory equipment that contributes to a considerable
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in expenses including time and money
while
 producing plant-based meat.
That is
 why, if each country innovates and incorporates something new, it will definitely contribute to the national economics and technological sphere too.
Therefore
, many of us will benefit from it. In conclusion, given the fact that now food
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
 by different countries because of better performance, I feel that
this
 strategy is promising and will lead to positive results within the technological and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 aspects on the horizon .
Submitted by tagubskikh on

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Task Response
Ensure to address all aspects of the prompt thoroughly and provide a balanced argument for both sides of the issue. You could expand on the negative aspects of food traveling long distances and how it may impact the environment or local economies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next and that your ideas are well-developed and supported by examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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