IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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For the
last
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 few
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
people
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faced
Add a missing verb
have faced
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health
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 issues by virtue of consuming unhealthy
food
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. According to some
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people
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,people
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 it is highly important to impose a higher
tax
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 on
such
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 kinds of
food
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 to prevent the growing number of
health
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 problems.
This
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 essay agrees with
such
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 a viewpoint partially, and it will
firstly
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 discuss the effect of higher taxes on society.
Then
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,
however
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, the following essay will interpret the possible way to tackle
this
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 issue.
For
Change preposition
In
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 recent years, the question about imposing a
tax
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rate
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 for unhealthy
food
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 has been controversial and one of the common ideas is that imposing a higher
tax
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rate
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 will make fast
food
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 unaffordable.
However
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, most
people
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 who consume fast
food
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 are aware of it is
health
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 consequences.
For instance
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, recent research from the Institute of Social Science shows that
people
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 who are acquainted with
health
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 issues from fast
food
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 will not stop
to consume
Change the verb form
consuming
show examples
 unhealthy
food
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 even if it would be more expensive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is evident that fast
food
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 contains certain ingredients which could be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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health
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 and
body
Correct article usage
the body
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. One critical issue is that the government should prevent the extremely growing
rate
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 of consumption of junk
food
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 and encourage society to care about their nutrition and body.
For example
Linking Words
, the authority could manage taxes and impose a lower
tax
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rate
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 for healthy
food
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 and
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 for unhealthy
food
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. To conclude, I firmly believe that a higher
tax
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rate
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 will not improve the situation with junk
food
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 and arising
health
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 problems from the consumption of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
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. In my opinion, the authorities are able to prevent the surge of
health
Use synonyms
 issues in society.
Submitted by alexia.13 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: