Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #computer #games #case #development

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Entertainments

such

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computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are getting popular among offspring these days.

This

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essay will discuss the reason that causes

this

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tendency and will provide my opinion on why

this

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trend has a harmful impact on children. It is interesting to note that over recent years there was a huge variety of

games

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that were invented based on

computer

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technologies.

Moreover

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, going to a

computer

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shop or even an online store you can buy almost any type of

game

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starting from war

games

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and ending up with strategic

games

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For instance

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, my friend made his mind just to try to spend his leisure playing electronic

games

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on his laptop and obtained a war

game

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for

this

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reason but one week later he realized that he was obsessed with doing

this

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entertainment and he wanted to get another type of

game

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to continue enjoying gaming.

This

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type of obsession, playing

computer

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games

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, can bring a detrimental impact on children along the way. Unfortunately, a young man is not capable of noticing how much time one spends doing

such

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kind of activity meanwhile one starts depriving himself of real conversations with friends and doing less physical activities that might cause different diseases and a sleep disorder,

for example

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. To provide a real case, my friend has got sleep deprivation being addicted to playing a war

game

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, and

as a result

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, it caused an issue with blood pressure that required medical treatment. In conclusion, the upwards trend of gaming on a

computer

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comes from innovative approaches of the electronic industry that crafts new

games

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more realistic and interesting day by day. In my opinion,

this

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trend can bring a detrimental consequence on a youth’s health.

Submitted by info on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Most pe think that teenagers should choose their jobs more realistically, however some of them think that they should choose job that they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The only way to improve road safety is to give more stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words.