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Writing Samples
Band 6

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

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According to the
last
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 decade’s ,figures the proportion of
children
Use synonyms
 having weight problems in western countries grew by nearly 20%.
This
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 essay will discuss the reason behind
this
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 trend and will try to enlighten the effects of the matter on kids. On the one hand, having an industry that generally produces processed and junk food
fromresults
Correct your spelling
from results
for results
 the unhealthy eating habits for almost everyone.
Moreover
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, the number of people that suffer from obesity differs according to the different age categories.
However
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, as parents have bad nutrition patterns experiencing the same tendency for
children
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 is familiar with their unhealthy diet. According to the USA
Health
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 Center Report on obesity, 35% of the population has shown the eating disorder symptoms for each member of their families.
On the other hand
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, the effects arise from the overweight for
children
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 will have even more horrifying results in their
health
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 condition later on.
Although
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,
children
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 should have an active and balanced life,
for
Change preposition
apply
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the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obesity is noticed in western societies.
This
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, in
turn
Add the comma(s)
,turn
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 concerns the healthy life supporters in-depth , so they advise to rely on the vegetarian diet for a more promising future.
For instance
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, kids having overweight problem tend to have the heart diseases in the
next
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 level of their lives 15% more than who did not have
such
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 a problem as a child. In conclusion, in western
countries
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,countries
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 the number of overweight
children
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 has gone up in the
last
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 ten years because of the increasing dietary problems they inherited from their parents. In terms of
Use synonyms
health
Add a comma
,health
show examples
this
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 led to the suffering
health
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 problems for most of their lives.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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