Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure

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For many

parents

Use synonyms

, the

further

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career of their

children

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one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

of paramount importance. Henceforth, some

parents

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think that their

children

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should not waste their time even out of school and their activities must contain some educational activities, whereas others assert that it gives too much stress for

children

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. I can neither support nor oppose both views, rather I take a neutral position for the following reasons. Against the backdrop of the increase in competition among students, the educational pressure has been getting more serious. In response to

this

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, acquiring academic thinking methods from the earlier period through seeking opportunities for study

besides

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the school will be an asset when

kids

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grow.

For example

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, according to an article, it is alleged that the capacity of thinking of adults is contingent on how he spent his time when he was a kid.

Besides

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this

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, it is

also

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confirmed through a survey that 70% of students who enrolled in the famous university in Japan had received some intelligence education when they were small. Since

children

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often face individual study, it is important to intervene to promote educational activities outside of the school.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, given that many

kids

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are often keen to play TV games or to do sports, it is necessary for their

parents

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to control their

children

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Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

though,

this

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might be a stress for

kids

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and may discourage

children

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from studying proactively. In Japan, often the resource of thinking is enthusiasm.

This

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is to say, it is important to have interests to trigger thinking and it is contradicting if

children

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stop having interests in various stuff as the result of the intervention from adults.

Thus

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parents

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should not control the free time of

kids

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and give them some space. To summarize, I do not agree with either statement rather stand at neutral.

Submitted by ryuichi.hiratuka210 on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this developments?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?