Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure

For many

parents

, the

further

career of their

children

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

of paramount importance. Henceforth, some

parents

think that their

children

should not waste their time even out of school and their activities must contain some educational activities, whereas others assert that it gives too much stress for

children

. I can neither support nor oppose both views, rather I take a neutral position for the following reasons. Against the backdrop of the increase in competition among students, the educational pressure has been getting more serious. In response to

this

, acquiring academic thinking methods from the earlier period through seeking opportunities for study

besides

the school will be an asset when

kids

grow.

For example

, according to an article, it is alleged that the capacity of thinking of adults is contingent on how he spent his time when he was a kid.

Besides

this

, it is

also

confirmed through a survey that 70% of students who enrolled in the famous university in Japan had received some intelligence education when they were small. Since

children

often face individual study, it is important to intervene to promote educational activities outside of the school.

On the other hand

, given that many

kids

are often keen to play TV games or to do sports, it is necessary for their

parents

to control their

children

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

though,

this

might be a stress for

kids

and may discourage

children

from studying proactively. In Japan, often the resource of thinking is enthusiasm.

This

is to say, it is important to have interests to trigger thinking and it is contradicting if

children

stop having interests in various stuff as the result of the intervention from adults.

Thus

parents

should not control the free time of

kids

and give them some space. To summarize, I do not agree with either statement rather stand at neutral.

Submitted by ryuichi.hiratuka210 on Tue Aug 17 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many developing countries there’s an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the city Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?
Many workers from rural areas tend to shift to the cities in numerous developing countries. This is mainly due to the job opportunities in the cities and this can lead to environmental pollution in the cities.
4.5
band
Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. what are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue?
Nowadays we are facing one of the most serious issue for humanity – global warming. Few decades ago people started to realize that is global warming became a serious problem. At this moment almost all of ecologiest in the world have been started warning goverments about global warming consequences.
<4
band
Some people think that parents should tell stories or read to their children. However, others believe that these days this isn’t necessary as children have so many other sources for stories, such as books, films and TV. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is opinion that stories should be told to children by their parents. But some individuals believe that it is not need for children, because it has many sources so the child do not know to choose. My opinion is children can listen or read without the help of parents.
<4
band
‘Preventing lifestyle illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own knowledge and experience.
These days the fact of having a healthy lifestyle has gained popularity. However it is controversial to define who has more responsibility in the habits of a society. While some believe that measures taken from governments are crucial to reduce lifestyle illnesses, others believe family and individuals have more impact on preventing this case of illnesses. In my opinion, governments have the most important role in lifestyle illness.
7
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that some pupils are willing to attend extra classes besides the major ones, while others claim to prefer taking all efforts only to achieve their professional education. Although learning about additional subjects can develop students’ soft skills, I agree with the view that students should pay attention mainly to their qualifications because it will enhance their chances of being accepted in the workplace.

Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many developing countries there’s an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the city Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. what are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue?

Some people think that parents should tell stories or read to their children. However, others believe that these days this isn’t necessary as children have so many other sources for stories, such as books, films and TV. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

‘Preventing lifestyle illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.