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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss two views and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest #two
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Nowadays mental health is given utmost importance. A section of people argues that leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 like reading, solving puzzles can relax
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
 ;
however
Linking Words
, other
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 refute the idea.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss the implication of
activities
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 as well as rest. I would like to present my views by diving deeper into the topic before deducing
reasonable
Correct article usage
a reasonable
show examples
 conclusion. Mental tasks
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 challenging and engaging for
humanbeings
Correct your spelling
human beings
. The
activities
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 give ample opportunities to challenge themselves results in creating pressure to think logically in order to solve the task. The effort pumped in solving
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 helps their
brain
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 to develop analytical and logical thinking.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 it is popularly seen that chess players
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
excelled
 in mathematics as their
brain
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 is trained to calculate and react at
faster
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a faster
show examples
 pace.The person who
are
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is
show examples
 more leisure
activities
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 involving
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brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
tend
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tends
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 to resolve problems easily. The human
speicies
Correct your spelling
species
 requires peace and rest to rejuvenate itself. In
this
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fast moving
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fast-moving
show examples
world
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,world
show examples
 people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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tend to overwork and gets
burntout
Correct your spelling
burnt out
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Resting gives peace to mental health but
also
Linking Words
 to
Correct your spelling
physical
physically
physicall
Correct article usage
the physicall
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 body.It is
utmost
Change preposition
of utmost
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
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 to refresh itself.
For instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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A study shows that people tend to work efficiently after returning from holidays.
Holiday
Add an article
The holiday
A holiday
show examples
 gives them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to rest and relax the muscle. The peace and calmness associated with relaxing refreshes mind and body.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be clearly said that resting helps to purify
Use synonyms
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
. I believe that mental
activities
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takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more effective to be practised . Mental task challenges as well as
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 you to remain active
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
thought
Submitted by nehasinha3121 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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