IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside a company and not to someone outside the company or new hiring. What is your opinion on this?

#companies #promotions #positions #employees #company #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether the
companies
 should give the higher positions to their old
employees
 or give the opportunity to individuals who have worked in other
companies
. Personally, I am in favour of the primary view. I feel that way because of various reasons that I will explain in the following essay.
To begin
 with,
this
 is clear that if
employees
 work in a place for many years, they will be familiar with the pros and cons of the
company
.
As a result
, they will be able to control and manage harsh situations and make the best decisions.
For instance
, if a big and famous
company
such
 as Google face a financial problem, the old managers will be able to tackle
this
 problem because they have enough experience.
On the other hand
, if the popular brand gives high levels of positions to people who do not have enough information about the
company
 can lead to irreversible problems.
Additionally
, asking the
employees
 with long experience time can
also
 motivate them to work better and be competitive with others, as a consequence, the
company
 will have better outcomes.
However
, if they give better opportunities to people who are new, the old
employees
 will disappoint in doing their job greatly. To sum up, I would conclude that
companies
 should promote high-level positions to persons who are working inside their network rather than hiring new ones.
This
 causes many benefits both for
employees
 and
companies
.
Submitted by sajedehmo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: