In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In modern times, young adults are spending less
time
with their families and more
time
with their friends. Why has
this
change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more
time
at home? İn the modern age, one of the important challenges for society is spending
time
with families. Significantly, young members of the community have been influenced by social and cultural changes. Particularly, adolescents desire more
time
to consume with their peers. There are numerous factors to impact decisions of
time
spent with friends.
To begin
with, only one parent works in order to provide the basic needs of the family
such
as shelter, food, and clothing.
However
, due to economic forces, not only men but
also
women must be part of the household economy, as income of the one person is not sufficient to pay expenses. İn
this
context, children grow alone and they
desire
Add the particle
todesire
show examples
share their
time
with somebody.
Secondly
, the impact of technological development has a great impact on behaviours.
For example
, teenagers are easily able to adapt to technological changes and they have common denominators to talk
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Moreover
,
attitudes
Correct article usage
the attitudes
show examples
of parents may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to problems. In my thoughts, forcing children for purpose of spending
time
with family or at home may cause degradation of the mental and emotional situation of teens and renewable corruption. In my own experience, teens-only feel to share their emotions, feelings, and even
time
with their fellows.
In addition
, they desire to be free on making decisions.
Therefore
, approaches should be more sensitive and plausible. In conclusion, being a teen is a biological process. Obviously, people are born, grow, and die, because
this
is a natural phenomenon. İn fact, the adults have experienced being an adolescent,
hence
families should behave when they think to force Youngers.
Submitted by evren on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!