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Writing Samples
Band 6

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #adults #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #children #home
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In modern times, young adults are spending less
time
 with their families and more
time
 with their friends. Why has
this
 change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more
time
 at home? İn the modern age, one of the important challenges for society is spending
time
 with families. Significantly, young members of the community have been influenced by social and cultural changes. Particularly, adolescents desire more
time
 to consume with their peers. There are numerous factors to impact decisions of
time
 spent with friends.
To begin
 with, only one parent works in order to provide the basic needs of the family
such
 as shelter, food, and clothing.
However
, due to economic forces, not only men but
also
 women must be part of the household economy, as income of the one person is not sufficient to pay expenses. İn
this
 context, children grow alone and they
desire
Add the particle
todesire
show examples
 share their
time
 with somebody.
Secondly
, the impact of technological development has a great impact on behaviours.
For example
, teenagers are easily able to adapt to technological changes and they have common denominators to talk
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Moreover
,
attitudes
Correct article usage
the attitudes
show examples
 of parents may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to problems. In my thoughts, forcing children for purpose of spending
time
 with family or at home may cause degradation of the mental and emotional situation of teens and renewable corruption. In my own experience, teens-only feel to share their emotions, feelings, and even
time
 with their fellows.
In addition
, they desire to be free on making decisions.
Therefore
, approaches should be more sensitive and plausible. In conclusion, being a teen is a biological process. Obviously, people are born, grow, and die, because
this
 is a natural phenomenon. İn fact, the adults have experienced being an adolescent,
hence
 families should behave when they think to force Youngers.
Submitted by evren on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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