IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, the high sales of ppopular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #ppopular #goods #power #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The controversial issue concerning whether the high sales of popular
goods
Use synonyms
 reflect the power of advertising or the real need of
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
 has attracted huge public attention and sparked a heated debate. Personally, I agree that the high purchase of popular
goods
Use synonyms
 reflect the influence of advertising and
that is
Linking Words
 because in our day to day life we buy a lot of
goods
Use synonyms
 only based on the hype about that product and not because we need them. I will explain my reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the main causes of high marketing of popular
goods
Use synonyms
 is because of the capability of advertising and not the real need of society. Society around the world just buy
products
Use synonyms
 like shampoos, detergents, soap bars, beauty
products
Use synonyms
 eg, makeup, lipstick etc based on only the exhibit of the commodity and not because they are in actual need of them. The situation is made worse by advertising campaigns that create attractive commercials that are targeted at people of all age groups, adults, children. The results of a recent study in the US shows that around the globe the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
products
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 reaching extremities only because of powerful endorsement.
This
Linking Words
 is a huge problem as buying
goods
Use synonyms
 based solely on display are beneficial for the advertising companies but malign for the financial condition of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have included the solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem in
this
Linking Words
 paragraph. One of the main ways to avoid being enticed by attractive
broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
show examples
 is to make a monthly necessity list and buying
products
Use synonyms
 based on that .
This
Linking Words
 is a great way of knowing what is indeed required at our homes and how much we are spending on a monthly basis on certain
products
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, based on the viewpoints mentioned above, I hold the firm perspective that high
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 of
goods
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mainly because of the power of advertising. That's why I
also
Linking Words
 believe that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 should adopt the solutions mentioned in
this
Linking Words
 essay. As that would help them from getting robbed by advertisement companies.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: