Public celebrations (such as national days, festivals etc) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive, and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
Many states often spend a large amount of
money
in
public celebrations. Some Change preposition
on
people
think this
is too expensive and the authorties
could Correct your spelling
authorities
apply
Add the preposition
forapply
these
Change the determiner
this money
money
in more useful fields. In my opinion, I agree with it, because this
is a type of waste and the funding could be used to improve peoples' life quality.
The celebrations of the public is a way of waste. In order to prepare these activities, normally, the governments will recruite
a lot of workers and Correct your spelling
recruit
recruits
manufacturies
to produce the materials that they need. Correct your spelling
manufactures
This
is a big amount of money
that is
actually from peoples' pocket——tax. For example
, in
Chinese national day, the government requests all cities Change preposition
on
hanging
on the new national flag on the street and arrange fireworks or light Change the verb form
to hang
performance
in the evening. It is hard to count how much they invest in Fix the agreement mistake
performances
this
celebration. Correct your spelling
Someone
Some one
might argue that Correct your spelling
Someone
this
is a wise way to stimulate the country's economy because many orders are sent in
to factories. Change preposition
apply
However
, if the government share this
money
to
every Change preposition
with
citizens
, Change to a singular noun
citizen
people
can use the money
to buy the things that they really want, and this
will also
boost the economy.
For a country, there are many other places need
to be invested Correct pronoun usage
that need
that is
more improtant
than a celebration. Health, education, and nursing senior Correct your spelling
important
people
are really significant to all society, but there is no many countries can
totally solve these problems around the world. Even in the developed countries, Correct pronoun usage
that can
Correct your spelling
nobody
no body
can state that all their children can access Correct your spelling
nobody
the
Correct article usage
apply
high quality
education, and their health system is able to serve their Add a hyphen
high-quality
people
which is free and fast. For example
, in the UK, many communties'
children cannot learn in a good school, and NHS can serve the public Correct your spelling
communities
in
free but the queue is quite long sometimes.
To conclude, many countries celebrate a certain Change preposition
for
anniversity
which costs a lot of Correct your spelling
anniversary
money
. This
essay agrees with the point that it is really expensive and the the
government should use Remove the redundancy
apply
these wealth
in some other placesChange the determiner
this wealth
,
because Remove the comma
apply
this
is a terrible form of waste and social welfare actually more need investment than such
celebrations do.Submitted by 2587729786 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite