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Band 3.5

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the works of their own countries instead of the works of art from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #works #countries #parts #world
There is no doubt that
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 fairs and
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
show
 the
arts
 and culture
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a
country
. So, many
people
 believe that should
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 the type of acts and jobs for the
country
 while other think that
show
 different works from
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
 region on the global is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea.
This
 essay will discuss that and provide my opinion. Museums and different expo always sought to attract a lot of tourism. So, significant
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difference in that expo and continue different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 and life of
people
 in the world.
Moreover
, when
show
Change the verb form
showing
show examples
 the local works for
people
 in the
country
 with
other region
Change the wording
another region
other regions
show examples
 that attract and interest tourism to compare and learn more about history and Claudio.
For example
,
Gnadrea
Correct article usage
the Gnadrea
show examples
 museum in Saudi Arabia shows both local and international acts
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interesting
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 way and many
people
 found that interesting.
On the other hand
, many
people
 visit
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 places to see the culture and history for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 while they found many
arts
 depict the different
country
 that cusses mix information for visitors. To illustrate, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
 have
a similar works
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar work
similar works
show examples
 when
show
Change the verb form
showing
show examples
 that in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place can affect passively by all information frequency to
Add an article
the visitor
a visitor
show examples
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
 the importance of
show
Change the form of the verb
showing
show examples
 all different type of jobs from
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 but I completely agree with that should expos only contain the local jobs in the
arts
.
Submitted by doaa1416h on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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