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Band 4

Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children ? What can be done to solve this problem?.

#parents #computer #games #movies #leisure #activities #impact #children
Everything in
this
 life
have
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has
show examples
bright
Add an article
a bright
show examples
 side and
dark
Correct article usage
a dark
show examples
 side even
humnitiy
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humanity
 have
angel
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an angel
show examples
 and
demon
Correct article usage
a demon
show examples
 side.
One
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On
show examples
 the other hand, Any item in
this
 life you can use it
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 way and bad way.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the knife can be used for cocking and make
a nice food
Remove the article
nice food
a portion of nice food
show examples
,
on the other hand
, it can be used
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 kill people and make disaster for
other family
Change the wording
another family
other families
show examples
 so
it's depend
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it depends
show examples
 on
user
Add an article
the user
show examples
. The power of
games
 is incredible. there are many
types
 of
games
 and there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so
meny
Correct your spelling
many
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 you can get from
games
. there is
game
Add an article
a game
the game
show examples
 called school
games
 .
it''s
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it's
its
mix
Add an article
a mix
show examples
 of teaching and give fun time for
children
. other
games
 called
fecuseing
Correct your spelling
focusing
game
help
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helps
show examples
children
 to
fecuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 in
spcifica
Correct your spelling
specific
 part of
game
Add an article
the game
show examples
 and make
thiar
Correct your spelling
their
that
 fingers
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster. Some
games
 give
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
 some
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 and they have to pass through
challange
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challenges
 to get
reward
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the reward
a reward
show examples
.
this
 is
grow
Fix the infinitive
to grow
show examples
 up the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
hard work and not give up
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hard work. all these
games
 target
children
 not adult players but there are so many
games
coutain
Correct your spelling
contain
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
, drugs and even
sexuel
Correct your spelling
sexual
containt
Correct your spelling
content
. Why
games
Add a missing verb
do games
show examples
containt
Correct your spelling
content
contain
contains
this
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
horrible
Add an article
the horrible
show examples
 part? Because these
types
 of
games
aimming
Correct your spelling
aiming
 players +18. it's not for
children
,
on the other hand
, so many parents
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't check which
types
 of
games
 thair
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
 have? All parents most
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
check the
games
 before bought from
shop
Add an article
the shop
a shop
show examples
 and give
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
children
. Summary.there are so many
types
 of
games
 . each
game
aimming
Correct your spelling
aiming
 specific age and
types
 of players.so parents have to check
games
Correct article usage
the games
show examples
 before bought to
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
children
.
Submitted by fhq6 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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