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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people think that the government should pay for the tuition fees of all adults who are interested in university studies. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #tuition #fees #adults #university #studies
Education
 is a necessity to build comfortable and liveable societies. Particularly,
education
 at university is the crucial point of the idea.
However
, the
cost
 of
education
 at the university is another important point. As being a student at the university is a kind of job, individuals are not able to pay
cost
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the cost
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 of living.
For example
, people
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 basic needs in order to survive,
such
 as shelter,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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, and clothing. Mainly, they should have sustainable income to afford those needs. Obviously, pupils and families cannot bear expenses.
On the other hand
, people must be hired or have regular income to pay expenses. In
this
 context, incentives are required, but government subsidiaries for purpose of providing
education
 services bring extra charges
on
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to
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government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
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 budget.
For example
,
budget
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the budget
a budget
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 cannot be capable to pay
cost
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the cost
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 of other services
such
 as
construction
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the construction
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 of infrastructures, and security. In my opinion, there are many factors why governments should provide course fees.
To begin
 with, the communities know
influence
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the influence
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 of the
education
 on people;
therefore
, they desire to construct populations, which comprise well-educated individuals.
Moreover
,
sustainability
Correct article usage
the sustainability
show examples
 of countries
depend
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depends
show examples
 on improving
education
 standards.
For instance
,
production
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the production
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process
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processes
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 in modern times significantly depend on technological equipment,
hence
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionals are necessary to manage machines in order to control production processes.
Further
, the population of the world
numerous
Add a missing verb
is numerous
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 times higher than past, and nourishment is a big problem.
As a result
, for improving agricultural productivity new methods and instruments are needed. As factors
indicates
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indicate
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, unless the countries thrive
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
educated
Add an article
an educated
the educated
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 person, they cannot have opportunities to improve the quality of the society. İn conclusion,
education
 is necessary to block public conflicts and it is
Add an article
a necessity
the necessity
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necessity
Replace the word
necessary
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 to sustain existing of the countries. If authorities desire wealthy communities, they have to bear
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
education
.
Submitted by evren on

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