IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You live in a room which you share with another student. You have some problems with your roommate. Write a letter to the accomodation officer of the college to change your room. In your letter: *mention the problems you are facing *say how these problems are affecting you *request for a new room

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Dear Sir/Madam, I hope
this
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 message finds you well. My name is Johan, a
final year
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final-year
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 science
student
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 at your esteemed college, and I am writing to request a room change
due to
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 ongoing issues with my current roommate. My
student
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 ID is JOH589, and I reside in room 205. My roommate is a first-year
student
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, and he often hosts gatherings with his friends, which has significantly disrupted my ability to concentrate on my studies.
Furthermore
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, he plays loud music without using headphones, making it increasingly difficult for me to focus.
Additionally
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, my roommate smokes in our shared space, and I suffer from allergies that are aggravated by cigarette smoke. Despite my attempts to discuss these issues with him, he has not shown any consideration for my concerns. As mid-term exams are approaching, I am in urgent need of a quieter and more conducive environment for studying. I would greatly appreciate it if you could assist me in relocating to a new room or potentially pairing me with a senior
student
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 who may have a more compatible lifestyle. Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Johan

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task achievement
Consider including more specific details about previous attempts to resolve the issues with the roommate to enhance the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
While the logical flow is strong, small improvements like transitional phrases between some paragraphs could further increase coherence.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately formal, which suits the context of a request to an accommodation officer.
task achievement
The letter maintains a clear and polite tone throughout, demonstrating excellent task achievement in maintaining a suitable writing tone.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a distinct idea, adding to the clarity and organization of the letter.
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