IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some say that young and energetic employees are the more valuable for the company, others argue that older employees have more experience and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples, based on you own experience.

#say #employees #company
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many concerned individuals who feel that the younger generation is more productive and can learn things quickly as compared to the mid-age people. Others,
however
, feel that the older
employees
 play a vital role in the company. I completely agree with the letter statement and in
this
 essay, I will support my view with examples.
One
 of the major advantages of having the older generation is they have enough
experience
 and knowledge. In every company, we have a distinct position defined based on your
experience
,
thus
 if a person who is having many years of
experience
 would be working at a higher position. As you get promoted to the
next
 level, your responsibilities and workload
also
 increase.
As a result
, being a fresher it is difficult to handle these challenges. Sometimes we may need to take some crucial decisions and at that time we can not rely on junior staff and we look for the guidance from senior
employees
.
For instance
, In IT companies, managers take all the vital decisions in their projects and the analyst would follow them.
Additionally
, experienced
employees
 help their teammates whenever they feel stuck at some issues.
Moreover
, they have enough
experience
 on more than
one
 technology as a consequence, if there is a requirement to start working on a new platform, it becomes less problematic for them as compared to the new members.
As a result
,
one
 resource can be used on more than
one
 technology and it can be beneficial for a company's growth.
For example
, If a manager has
experience
 on SAP and Salesforce technology
then
 he can work on both the project and we can save a resource. In conclusion, despite there are few reasons why we should value the young workers, I'm inclined to consider that the pros of the older
employees
.
Submitted by shreyaraut1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: