IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies or interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
It is so common that nowadays some job candidates are asked for giving some private information
such
 as their interest or their marital status, which is a controversial issue and some people think that it is normal and necessary, whereas some others do not agree. From my standpoint it is useful. On the one hand, it has been argued that why some companies need
such
 confidential data, which are irrelevant and unpractical,
for instance
, they asked whether the candidates are married or single while there is a myriad of potential applicants who are in poor family condition and have some special qualifications but cannot be able to take part in these kinds of jobs.
Similarly
, it might be said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are some individuals who do not have any specific hobby or interest, so they do not have anything to say in
this
 regard, which could result in losing a position as long as employers priority be based on these features.
Moreover
, if people qualified in
this
 respect, many of them would lose the requirement.
On the other hand
, nowadays it is being typical that nearly most firms have some parameters concerning the process of taking a new workforce. In
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
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, they are likely to take advantage of these items
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their benefit,
for instance
, by getting some pieces of information, which may sound trivial they can understand other aspects of people's character, which suits their purpose or not.
In addition
,
this
 way employers might know more about the new members, as an illustration, whether
this
 person has some essential qualities
such
 as being a good member, creative person or problem-solver. In conclusion,
although
 it might be strange to ask for some privacy questions in the process of hiring, I strongly believe that
this
 idea can be beneficial for both sides.
Submitted by godbaman93 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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