Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, It is frequently argued that
women
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are more suitable for childcare than men as a consequence that they should take care of
children
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instead
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of working. In
this
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essay, I will explain the reason why I strongly disagree with the statement.
Firstly
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, I think that in modern society there are
any
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
differences between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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and female
thank
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thanks
show examples
to the
developpement
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development
of
human
Add an article
the human
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mind,
infact
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in fact
, in the past,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people used to think that there were differences from
women
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to men because the man could be considered a higher level and for
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
he had to
work
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for his family and
this
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situation was provided
also
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from the government with unbelievable laws. Nowadays,
luckliy
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luckily
,
this
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difference is deleted and both sexes have the same role in society and for
this
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reason
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,reason
show examples
I think that
women
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can
work
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instead
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of
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
care of
children
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because they can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
workers
Correct the article-noun agreement
worker
show examples
and not only a great mother which is,
also
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, in my opinion, one of the most difficult jobs in the contemporary World.
In addition
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, I believe that
also
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a father can focus on raising younger due to the fact that the mother could
work
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more hours than him and for
this
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reason he will spend several time with their
children
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and
this
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can be considered as a normal routine. In conclusion, I think that there are no more differences between males and females and if the
women
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would like to
work
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they have to do it,
although
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some people believe that they are more suitable for
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by edogiova01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
What to do next:
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