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Band 5

The news media have become too much influential in people lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #media #people #lives #development
Stepping into the 21st century, state-of-the-art technologies have set their foot in almost all spheres of our life. Whether the
news
media
 has enslaved or liberated
people
's lives nowadays
has
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have
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 long been a subject of debate. While I agree that there are some cases that human beings are negatively affected by the coverage of wild
news
media
, I still believe that it is a breakthrough
of
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for
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 mankind that brings
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 benefits. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that owing to the development of mass
news
media
,
people
 can be easily informed and get up-to-date with the world. There are more
people
 preferring online
news
 through TVs or smartphones thanks to its convenience and gratuitousness.
Furthermore
, the content of social
media
 posts can be meaningful to adolescents. With platforms like YouTube or Facebook, they can have access to
people
's stories knowing that they are experiencing similar struggles to their own, giving courage and confidence.
On the other hand
, the proliferation of
news
media
 has had profound effects on health. These negative effects include obesity, back pain or eye strain, which especially affect children. It not only causes physical but mental health. Research shows that
news
media
 consumption is associated with anxiety and depression as a consequence of seeing fake perfection of
body
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the body
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 or face images on a daily basis.
However
,
people
 themselves should be in control of these activities.
For instance
, parents should put a limit on their children's time on TV. In short,
people
's lives today rely so much on
news
media
 despite some cons related to health it may bring. I have full faith in the near future when
less
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fewer
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people
 are harmed by the
news
media
. .
Submitted by Như Hảo on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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