In some countries young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Juveniles are experiencing
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
level of
life
in contrast
to their
parents
which encompass more amenities, while they are more depressed and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
enjoy their
life
as much as their
parents
. It seems that easier achievements and comparison
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
with others obstruct them from enjoying their own
life
.
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
There
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
kinds of views have roots in childhood
years
and should solve on that
years
. Adolescences are not satisfied with their
life
because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two main reasons.
First
of all, in comparison to the past,
less
Add a missing verb
being less
show examples
hardworking is necessary for answering your
first
needs. It means a well-paid job, adequate accommodation, healthy food and etcetera are all accessible for young people which needed burning oil for other generations.
As a result
, youngsters who achieve all
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
straightforward, do not appreciate their situations and belongings thoroughly.
Secondly
, in social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
Add a comma
,medias
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
there are numerous celebrities with fancy
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
which leads adolescences to compare their
life
with them all the time and
consequently
not satisfied with their
owl
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
life
and feel completely depressed. Psychologists mainly believe all attitudes in adults is the result of upbringing
years
. Not enjoying
life
in
adolescences
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescence
show examples
happens when
parents
behave in an inappropriate way. To explain more, nowadays
parents
try hard to prepare all amenities and facilities for their kids so they grow up without
enter
Change the verb form
entering
show examples
acting with any challenges. Spoiled children with no great vision who just pay attention to materialistic aspects of
life
but if
parents
let the children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
experience the real-
life
challenges and speak with them about
world
Add an article
the world
a world
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
deeper
Correct article usage
a deeper
show examples
point of view, they would not even think about comparing themselves with celebrities. These children would set goals for themselves and get satisfied by hardworking to achieve them
therefore
see their personality as a meaningful one. In conclusion, upbringing methods plus social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
mislead juveniles from precious
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
and
also
satisfying deep inside.
Parents
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in children’s growing
years
can modify
this
type of view.
Submitted by pejhan.red on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: