Some people think that the government should give money to creative people such as artists and musicians. To what extent extend do you agree.

#people #government #money #artists #musicians

The thought that government should provide funds to innovative and creative individuals like

creator

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creators

show examples

designer

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designers

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and

performer

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performers

show examples

instrumentalist

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instrumentalists

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. I completely agree with

this

statement as well as all reasonable

point

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points

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will be elaborated

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on in

show examples

the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, unfurling some valuable reasons why money

spend

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spends

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on artists and musicians.

First

and foremost, talents are God gifted and

human

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humans

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only

naraish

Correct your spelling

nourish

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

by physical and financial help. To explain, talented

people

are unique because they do something different from

other

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others

show examples

. To achieve

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

of creativeness they need money.

For example

, Pottery is

the

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apply

show examples

one the special

art

and to develop

this

art

pot

artist

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artists

show examples

need foundation from government authorities.

Secondly

, all

arts

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art

show examples

form

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forms

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are related to culture and religious things. So, to encourage

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

show examples

people

is automatically protect the roots.

For instance

, in Jammu and

Kashmir

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,Kashmir

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many local

people

make handcrafted goods

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

show

their

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the

show examples

originality of their background.

Furthermore

, there

are

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show examples

some

another factor

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other factors

show examples

which

also

clearfy

Correct your spelling

clarify

clearly

that government should take some steps. Primarily, music

have

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has

show examples

no boundaries and

also

have no language barrier, everyone easily

connect

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connects

show examples

with it. To invest

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show examples

musicians and singers

not

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is not

show examples

a bad idea for any nation. These

kind

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kinds

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of investments are not only helpful for artists but

also

pride for

country

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the country

show examples

. To exemplify, K pop is the

reound

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sound

round

music style of Korean

art

and

famous

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is famous

show examples

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

world wide

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worldwide

show examples

people

follow their

trend

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trends

show examples

and make videos on social sites and with

this

most

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apply

show examples

people

want to

vist

Correct your spelling

visit

Korea. To encapsulate, I believe that

art

play

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plays

show examples

an indispensable role in our life as well as cover original values of any country and develop the nation.

Submitted by gurwindersingh273926 on Thu Aug 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should give money to creative people such as artists and musicians. To what extent extend do you agree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A government has a responsibility to its citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to such services.

Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. What do you think? What are other purposes of zoos?