The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the present age, there has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether the media should concentrate
to show
normal population life Change preposition
on showing
instead
of paying attention to famous persons like celebrities
lifestyles. Personally, I strongly disagree with that statement because being aware of the Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
life
of popular individuals can motivate society Fix the agreement mistake
lives
especially
youngsters to learn positive behaviours and Add the comma(s)
, especially
trying
to Wrong verb form
try
becoming
successful like them.
The primary reason we have to take into consideration is that most Change the verb
become
of
Change preposition
apply
the
celebrities are successful people in their major, Correct article usage
apply
due to
this
fact it could be concluded that their lives are a good template to follow and learn their positive factors. For instance
, Leo Messi is a popular football player, who has many fans worldwide and his working pathway can affect many teenagers to trying
more to become as professional as he is.
The next reason Wrong verb form
try
that is
worth pointing out is that there is not something interesting in normal people
lives, Change noun form
people's
hence
, following their stories could not add something new to us. For example
, assume that different media such
as television, newspapers, and social media show the lifestyle of an ordinary person in your hometown. Furthermore
, because there are not any special points to learn as a result
you do not have any interest to follow
the news anymore.
Change preposition
in following
To sum up
, I would like to conclude
that knowing about famous individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
life
like our favourite Fix the agreement mistake
lives
singer
is more interesting to us than ordinary ones. We can learn from their failures and Fix the agreement mistake
singers
success
and Fix the agreement mistake
successes
also
mimic their positive behaviours.Submitted by sajedehmo on
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task response
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion present clear and concise overview of your position on the topic. Additionally, use appropriate linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas and generate a logical structure. Expand on your points with relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay presents a basic structure, there is a lack of coherence in linking ideas and maintaining a clear flow of arguments. Work on organizing your ideas in a logical sequence and use appropriate transition words and phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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