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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
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The crime levels of young people are increasing to alarming rates in recent years. From my perspective, the primary reasons for
this
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 problem are the insufficient/ lack of parent’s interest and the shortage of money for their spending. There are a number of measures that should be implemented to address juvenile
crimes
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. There are two principal reasons for juvenile
crimes
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.
Firstly
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, the
parents
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 are neglectful to their children. In the juvenile stage, young people have to undergo a significant change in physical and emotional development;
therefore
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 the parent’s responsibility is the care for teens so that they have the right guided growth during
this
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 stage.
In contrast
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, if teenagers only received neglect in
this
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 period, it would result in
misbehaviors
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misbehaviours
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 and run more risk of engaging in criminal activities. Another efficacious way is the urge for money. Young people these days desire the items which their peers all have and the
parents
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 do not meet
such
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 demand.
As a result
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, they may resort to minor
crimes
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 in order to meet their financial meet. To address
this
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 problem, the government works with the
parents
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 to recognize their critical role in a child’s life. They may actively engage in educating youngsters by spending more time for them in physical activities as well as listening to and guiding them once they have learned about
this
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 insight and the particular developed period in the juvenile stage.
Besides
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, the
parents
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also
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 should meet the suitable demand by providing a weekly allowance to children.
However
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, they have to educate teenagers about the preciousness of money from
labor
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labour
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 as well as managing their expenditure plan. In conclusion, youth
crimes
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 can be ascribed to reasons which are the parent’s neglect and the unrealistic desire of teenagers, and these issues can be deal with by joint of both government, the care and education of
parents
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.
Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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