Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Certain individuals argue that international
visitors
should be charged more than local people in order to
visit
cultural and historical attractions. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
statement.
This
essay aims to highlight my view by using points and examples to prove the argument.
First
of all, local people would take pride
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own ancient attractions whenever international
tourists
would
visit
them. Spreading their culture for travellers to know more about their country is more valuable than getting money.
However
, charging extra entrance fees to international
tourists
for the preservation and maintenance of
culture
Replace the word
cultural

The word culture doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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heritage will reduce their visits.
This
is because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in order to introduce culture to other countries. Consider adding the comma(s).

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order to introduce culture to other countries, many
visitors
are required, so if there are fewer
visitors
, cultures are unable to be well known.
Thus
, it is a not good way to increase their fees to cultural locations.
Furthermore
, most international
tourists
decide to
visit
other countries with
limited
Add an article
a limited

The noun phrase limited budget seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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budget. For
this
reason,
tourists
may come back if they try to
visit
without knowing the additional charge. In fact, in some cases, even extra fees
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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only charged to foreign
tourists
have been announced in advance. With
this
, international
tourists
would not
visit
there and think it was unfair. Foreign
visitors
pay enough money for other expenses
such
as accommodation, food and souvenirs. To sum up, I believe that people should know that it is more important for others to let our own cultures
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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be known to others than economic profit. Increasing payment to international
tourists
would decrease
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
tourism and reduce the cultural widespread.
Submitted by lovein9311 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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