Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives

Some groups of people believe that advertising encourages us to buy things that are not necessary

Change the preposition

for

show examples

daily

Correct pronoun usage

our daily

show examples

lives

, but at the same

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

there is

also

another group of people who say that buying

products

that we have never bought before could improve our

lives

. I fully agree that advertising that informs us about

products

helps our

lives

in a better way.

First

of all, buying new

products

that we were never interested in before might make our

lives

easier. The advertised product could possibly be an essential thing in our daily

lives

but it might improve our

lives

and could be very handy. Sometimes the thing

that is

advertising might be something that we never thought of.

For example

, my grandma never used an air fryer before but one day she saw an advertisement when watching television. After watching that advertisement she bought one air fryer, and it is really easy to use and she loves it.

Fromthis

Correct your spelling

From this

, I believe that buying new

products

makes us explore new things.

Secondly

, buying goods we have never bought before could give us new experiences. New

products

nowadays, compared to the old

products

, are made from newer technology so it is more suitable with the world right now. By

this

, the new advertised product might be something new and from

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

we get to learn with it.

For instance

, my mom saw the Dyson vacuum from an advertisement and decided to buy it. It was a very new experience for her to use a wireless vacuum and it is so convenient for her to clean the house.

Thus

, buying advertised

products

makes us feel new experiences. To conclude, I totally agree that advertisements help improve our

lives

because it makes our life easier and

also

gives us new experiences.

Submitted by chompunoot.raj on Fri Aug 20 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Some people say it is time to say goodbye to reading books with real paper because e-readers and e-books are available. Do you agree or disagree?

You want to sell some of your furniture and you think one of your friends might be interested to buy it. Write a letter to this friend. Why you are selling it. Describe the furniture he/she might be interested in. Invite your friend to have a look.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough What are the advantage and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Professional sports person are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?