Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.

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All of the people consider that
women
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can be good parents more than
men
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.
For
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this
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reason, everyone thinks that
women
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are suitable to take care of their
children
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the most.
However
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, others agree that
men
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are
also
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good at parenting same as wives. In my point of view, I concur that wives are gentler to be ready to teach their kids.
However
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,
men
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have a better power to raise their
children
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.
First,
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every mother is so kind to their daughter or son.
This
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is very common for all
residentials
Correct your spelling
residents
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. It cannot be denied that
women
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have a better sense
to look
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of looking
show examples
after their
children
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. A perfect example of
this
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is mothers always prepare breakfast,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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school uniform, and teach them homework.
Hence
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, mothers will be the person who understands their
kids
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kid's
kids'
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need.
Secondly
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, someone admits that both
women
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and
men
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are the same. They can be the perfect parents. Especially, fathers have an open mind and lead their kids to do the right things. To illustrate, daughters usually share their stories and secrets with their fathers. Because they might think that no one can blame them if they
do
Verb problem
make
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something mistake.
Men
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will compromise
them
Change preposition
with them
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all the time.
Thus
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,
men
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have skills that can encourage their daughters. In fact, all
children
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feel more comfortable when they talk to their father. In conclusion,
women
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are more likely to be good parents
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than
men
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. Because they can be a consultant to their
children
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such
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as
,
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apply
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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, friends,
and
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apply
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food, etc. Alternatively,
men
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will be a person who keeps their kids’ secrets. So, everyone will prefer sharing experiences with fathers when bad things happen to them
Submitted by jameekorn.insawang on

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Coherence and cohesion
Use more formal language and avoid colloquial expressions such as 'residential' and 'mistake'. Also, ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical order and that the introduction clearly states your point of view.
Task response
Provide a more balanced argument by considering and counter-arguing the opposing viewpoint. Additionally, address the prompt more directly and make sure that every paragraph contributes to the overall point of view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting
  • nurturing
  • paternal
  • maternal
  • societal expectations
  • gender roles
  • co-parenting
  • emotional intelligence
  • child-rearing
  • caregiver
  • egalitarian
  • stereotype
  • nuclear family
  • single parent
  • shared custody
  • bonding
  • child development
  • primary caregiver
  • compassionate
  • empathetic
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