Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Nowadays,
air
contaminants and
traffic
have become catastrophic phenomena. Many
people
believe that government should increase the price of petrol to tackle these problems. I totally disagree with
this
statement. From my perspective, there are other effective solutions to resolve these obstacles. It is undeniable that one dominant cause of
traffic
and pollution are mass private car use.The biggest problem with increasing the price of petrol is that
this
causes growth in the
cost
of commute and transportation either by public transport or private cars.
consequently
, higher fuel
cost
is less likely to limit the number of drivers.
Moreover
, as far as social issues are concerned, by increasing the
cost
of fuel
cost
of living would rise as well which will eventually lead to a less safe country.
People
may find pickpocketing and burglarising the way to earn money. In my view, other steps should be taken to control these crises. The
first
possible measure is equipping
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
public transportation with comfortable seats and good
air
condition to persuade
people
to use them.
For instance
, in my
country
Add a comma
,country

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in my country. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
many
people
do not tend to go to their workplace by bus during summer because of the low
air
ventilation system.
Furthermore
, in terms of
traffic
, authorities could build more underground trains and
air
railways to reduce the
traffic
on the road. In conclusion, I believe that while rising the
cost
of fuels is not a practical policy to reduce
traffic
and
air
contaminant, spending more money on extending the quality of public transportation and improving the choices of public transport services available for travellers can be good strategies.
Submitted by maryamhfhf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!