IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Research into new type of foods are essential to increase sell of restaurant. Do you think government should fund these research or restaurant owners should fund for these restaurant?

There is no denying that in our country, especially in the cities, there are many
Use synonyms
restaurant
Change to a plural noun
restaurants
show examples
 but there are no
quality
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 and seating
arrangemnet
Correct your spelling
arrangement
arrangements
 so
people
Use synonyms
 still do not like to go to
resaurant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
 very much. I think
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is available in
Use synonyms
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will go to restaurants
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will go
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
. For
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 we want a lot of
food
Use synonyms
 variation and the
government
Use synonyms
 should do
research
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should
research
Use synonyms
 the
food
Use synonyms
 of different countries, why
people
Use synonyms
 in our country are more interested in
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
foos
Correct your spelling
food
 than local
food
Use synonyms
? The
government
Use synonyms
 should consult with
restaurant
Use synonyms
 owners as to why their
food
Use synonyms
 is not being sold. Why don't
people
Use synonyms
 want to go to restaurants? After
thatwe
Correct your spelling
that we
that
 want to do a lot of
research
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
, how to increase sales in
Use synonyms
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
? How to improve the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
?
Linking Words
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 we need to know what kind of
food
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in our country prefer to eat and the
government
Use synonyms
 should
research
Use synonyms
those
Change the determiner
that food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
, innovate
those
Change the determiner
that food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and consult with owners. If the
government
Use synonyms
 provides funds for
research
Use synonyms
, the
research
Use synonyms
 work will be much better.
People
Use synonyms
 still don't like to go
Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaturants
Change preposition
to restaturants
show examples
 because there is no
quality
Use synonyms
 of
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 . owners should pay attention to that.
Then
Linking Words
 will go and will sell them and more. I strongly agree with the idea that
government
Use synonyms
 should do
research
Use synonyms
 on different types of
food
Use synonyms
 in different countries so that sales will increase in restaurants. If the
government
Use synonyms
 funds and conduct
research
Use synonyms
 on new
food
Use synonyms
 businessman will be interested in building
Use synonyms
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: