Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the company encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Recently, there is an argument that

women

Use synonyms

should be reserved certain percentage of high-level

jobs

Use synonyms

. Even though it would bring some advantages to

society

Use synonyms

, I side with disagreement. On the one hand, it is true that men are dominant in well-paid

jobs

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, in modern

society

Use synonyms

, feminism is prevalent to achieve equal opportunities in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job competition, promotion, etc. Feminists argue that

women

Use synonyms

have been discriminated

Change preposition

against in

show examples

many ways, in terms of work.

For example

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

relatively get lower

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

and rarely get employed in well-paid

jobs

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

regard, they insist that

women

Use synonyms

should have more income and be guaranteed to reserve some

jobs

Use synonyms

in companies to achieve equity in

society

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, business exists to make profits. To be specific, business is neither the charitable nor voluntary organisation so that company seeks for talented employees to run the business successfully and gets ready for paying competitive salary for whom can make a huge contribution to the company.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is absolutely absurd to reserve some job vacancies for

women

Use synonyms

regardless of their capacity. Take Korea as an example, there are numerous men who want to be hired in these well-paid companies so that they strive to get qualifications and licenses to win the competition.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, recently the Korean government made a new regulation with regard to gender quota that

women

Use synonyms

should take 50% of the occupations. In

this

Linking Words

respect, skilful men candidates lose their potential opportunities just because of the gender quota. In conclusion, reserving some job vacancies for

women

Use synonyms

seems to be fair,

however

Linking Words

, it turns out that

this

Linking Words

mean of hiring is not only less productive but

also

Linking Words

ineffective for

society

Use synonyms

playsocc1216Sun Aug 22 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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