In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crimes #education #people #crime

Nowadays, an increasing number of

people

are concerned about

crimes

However

, whether the best solution for

crimes

is imprisonment or

education

/educating

people

has caused an argument. In my view, I partly agree with the view for the following reasons.

Firstly

, it is clear that

education

is the most important foundation for making

people

have a

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

life

Change preposition

of life

show examples

In other words

, if

people

don’t have enough

education

they will lack the skills and knowledge that are needed in work because they have to find ways in life, leading to committing a crime.

Therefore

, it is necessary to give

education

people

Nevertheless

, even though some

people

have a good

education

they still commit

crimes

because of their personality, perhaps it is due to psychopathy that has to be cured, or they grew up in a terrible environment that made them feel suppressed.

Therefore

, prison is very important to make them afraid to commit

crimes

Moreover

, offenders when

punished

Add a missing verb

are punished

show examples

for their actions and trained their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

to be good persons

then

they will be able to live normally in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In summary,

education

is very important to reduce

crimes

but only it is not enough. Sometimes imprisonment is necessary to punish offenders. Meanwhile, the government should encourage citizens to receive

education

as much as possible. By doing so, we can ensure that citizens will have

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

life which can prevent

people

from committing

crimes

Submitted by nitchakarn.son on Sun Aug 22 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime deterrent
rehabilitative
moral understanding
punitive measures
root causes
recidivism
socioeconomic factors
deter criminals
cost-effectiveness
social integration
maintenance
construction
traditional views
productive members
knowledge

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In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists.Others, however,believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.