The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done?

#amount #water #people

Nowadays, people are encountering a serious threat which is the reduction in the amount of drinkable

water

on earth. Some causes of

this

arising phenomenon

as well as some solutions

Add the comma(s)

, as well as some solutions,

show examples

will be provided in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, it can be said that there are two main contributors to

this

issue, which are pollution and global warming. When big factories dump their refuse in clean

water

sources, they

consequently

become contaminated. China, for the instance, suffers from high levels of

water

pollution due to the industrial processes that take place in the country.

Moreover

, the rise in the world temperature affects areas that contain clean

water

such

as glaciers and ice caps.

Thus

, impeding those issues will help mitigate the issue of

water

scarcity.

In addition

this

problem might be solved

through

Change preposition

show examples

introducing strict

Fix the agreement mistake

legislation

show examples

legislations

Correct your spelling

legislation

show examples

and promoting environmental awareness among people. If authorities enact policies that deter big corporations from misusing natural resources, especially

water

this

will immensely help to conserve

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

. An eminent example is Norway which imposed huge penalties on companies that threw their toxic waste in rivers and oceans. Another solution is to inform the general population about the negative effects of wasting

water

by using mass media or launching awareness campaigns.

This

demonstrates that the key to

solve

Change the verb form

solving

show examples

that problem is to have a firm set of rules regarding environment protection and an enlightened public. In conclusion, what can be said is that any plan to tackle the upcoming issue of

water

shortages will not be applicable without a collective effort from both governments and people.

Submitted by omarzein13 on Sun Aug 22 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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