One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

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It is believed that technological advancements have enhanced the quality of treatment and healthcare service, which allow people to live longer and healthier. In my opinion, the boons of the technology in

health

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the health

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sector

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are

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far greater than its setbacks. In the following

paragrahs

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paragraphs

, I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify my points.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, the amelioration of treatment has helped remedy

lives

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the lives

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of millions and enhanced

quality

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the quality

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of life of many patients. In previous centuries,

nummerous

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numerous

citizens around the world were infected or jeopardized by communicable diseases.

However

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, with the development of

break-through

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breakthrough

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inventions

such

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antibiotics

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as antibiotics

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, painkillers or vaccines, many lives have been cured

from

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show examples

these fatal diseases,

that

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which

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deters the loss of humanity.

Moreover

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, the utilization of technology in

welfare

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the welfare

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area

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areas

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may help decline the workload of caregivers and resolve the shortage of human

resouce

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resource

issue

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issues

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in many developing nations.

For instance

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, the use of

ehealth

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eHealth

applications can help physicians monitor their patients remotely and reduce the frequency of doctor visits or having robots to assist elderlies at home that can help reduce the workload of nurses.

On the other hand

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, authorities may face several challenges with the rising population number annually.

Firstly

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, administrations may need to find extra rooms to accommodate the increasing global inhabitants by constructing more housing facilities or residential areas.

Moreover

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alternative

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an alternative

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source

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sources

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of sustenance may need to be promoted in order to meet the demand of billions of people.

Last

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but not least, environmental issues may be another obstacle that global leaders may have to deal with with the increase in transportation demand. To sum up, while I strongly agree that there

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are

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a plethora of benefits that modern healthcare services can bring to human society, there are

also

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some challenges that require imperative cooperation from global leaders.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Sun Aug 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

In today's world, many pople own a smartphone.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?