Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The development of
technology
in the
earlier
Replace the word
early
show examples
1900s made
people
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
more convenient than the advancement of contemporary skills in the present. I strongly agree that earlier revolutions of
technology
gave
Verb problem
were
show examples
more beneficial to human beings. At
first,
in the 1900s, there was a significant revolution in transportation, which made
to
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
start
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
very quickly,
although
the life of
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
still is changing so fast.
For example
, folk are used to horse or bike or
by walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
in order to go somewhere which takes a lot of time to get to specific places.
Moreover
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
had hardly travelled abroad before
aeroplane
Fix the agreement mistake
aeroplanes
show examples
and the train
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed which decreased a lot of time to go somewhere and way faster than by
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
or riding a horse.
Thus
, it has already been developed and used till now.
Besides
, nowadays, there is only complicated and detailed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development of technic in computer, A.I and electronic appliances which
those are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
already created before the 2000s.
That is
because some scientists warned some
technology
such
as A.I and SNS that give damages for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
sometimes.
For example
, because of the presence of
A.I
Correct your spelling
AI
, not only
people
lost their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
but
also
a
Change the word
their
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life.
Furthermore
, some experts
worried
Wrong verb form
worry
show examples
that
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
too much.
People
can be dominated by A.I.
Hence
, too much detail
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
developing
technology
can be very harmful to the world.
To conclude
, I think the things
such
as transportation,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and so on that
people
need that those have already
created
Add a missing verb
been created
show examples
in the 1900s. That’s why
people
should make a solution to prevent any damages which come from
technology
in a recent study.
Submitted by jaykim0852 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all aspects of the task prompt. You need to provide a balanced response to the question and fully address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. Provide evidence to support your position and consider the implications of the topic from multiple perspectives.
Coherence and cohesion
The organization is generally clear, but there are areas where the logical flow of ideas could be strengthened. Use linking words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more developed.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: