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Band 4.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
In the work from home
culture
Add a comma
,culture
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 we have literally made our homes, our workplace and we barely get
time
 for ourselves. Working hours have extended automatically and breaks have shortened, leaving no room for relaxing. Definitely, the long term consequences are detrimental and
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
. We eagerly wait for weekends to come so that we can take some
time
 out to not only perform chores but
also
 to spend some quality
time
 with family and friends.
This
, apart from removing
stress
Add an article
the stress
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 of the week, helps you to prepare for the
next
 five days. But
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 we barely get
time
 for ourselves, forget family. We are swarmed with work and challenging deadlines that it becomes difficult to relax even on weekends .
This
 is not only mentally torturing but
also
 impairs us physically be it eyes or back. It
also
 significantly impacts our lifestyle, right from going to bed late, waking up late and
then
 skipping regular exercise or walk adding
further
 to physical ailments like a vicious cycle. Long working hours
also
 bring with
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of quarrels with family members when it comes to fulfilling commitments as we often find it easier saying no to family members rather than bosses.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 it offers a few merits
such
 as due to lack of
time
 we do not overthink and
also
 avoid indulging in those leisure activities which are quite expensive
such
 as watching a
theater
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theatre
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play or eating out in a restaurant. To conclude, though it's good
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 busy but not at the cost of physical and mental peace.
Submitted by parneetdhindsa12 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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