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Band 6.5

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #government #idea
There is a growing concern about young leaders holding key positions in the
government
. It triggers a heated debate whether it is advantageous that they take charge of
such
 significant places in the
government
 officials or not. In my opinion, youngsters must be encouraged to achieve
this
 target but a number of things need to be considered. When addressing
such
 vital positions, it is undeniably true that there needs to be a
consequent
Change the adjective
consequently
show examples
 acquired experience in
this
 field. People are eventually concerned if young blood would be able to bear
this
 enormous pressure. They think it is more realistic to place someone with considerable years of service at that seat for they can think on their feet and maintain stability.
For instance
, the majority of the state comprises mostly
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elder individuals.
Consequently
, in a way, the nations feel more secured and satisfied about how the organization is lined up. Be that as it may, I believe that youngsters who have made their way through and earned
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 positions based solely on meritocracies can be great leaders. Younger people tend to have better and improved ideas and strategies compared with old ones. They are filled with energies and goals which give them momentum to always achieve for exploits. Of course, they can aspire from the elders as well as seeking advice from them in order to tackle their projects. As an illustration, members of the state usually have their sons or daughters
also
 working in the
government
.
As a result
, the nations will always have competent officials in charge in the long run. In conclusion, people need to start getting accustomed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 young leaders as
this
 could
involves
Change the verb form
involve
show examples
 a positive trend toward how the
government
 operates.
Submitted by kavirohan765 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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